Summer holidays are meant to be the time when you put your feet up and get a break from the frustrations of flash cards and mind maps strewn about your room. Highlighters and fine liners cover your desk, the myriad of colour too bright to even consider looking at. You just want to curl up on the couch and binge the Netflix shows you swore you weren’t secretly watching when you were meant to be revising. Or, for bibliophiles like me, you blast music in your ear and devour all of the books you want to read, not bound by a syllabus. You do not expect to be swamped by schoolwork.
A levels are difficult, of course. Everyone is aware that they’re not just a breeze that you don’t have to work for. There are tests and extra reading and a new level of independence that can be quite daunting at times. Add A levels to a global pandemic. Not fun.
The whole pandemic has been terrifying for everyone, becoming accustomed to new routines, job insecurity, online lessons. No one was prepared for what was to come and we have had to learn to adapt pretty quickly. This, however, is not good for mental health. People feel more isolated than they have, not being able to meet up with friends or significant others or even family. And the feeling of uncertainty is definitely not a booster for mental health as there is anxiety for the return to school or work, fear particularly for those who are of high risk themselves or have family who are high risk. My mum is considered high risk and I am terrified to bring something home and risk making her sick. So there are many things that are contributing to mental health issues at the moment.
Teaching myself content for my A levels is daunting. We have ingrained in us at the start of the first year that, “If you miss a day it could put you behind and it’ll be hard to catch up!” So why is it okay that we miss so much school? I am definitely lucky in that analysing poetry isn’t the most difficult thing to do at home because YouTube exists and there are plenty of people to help me analyse what Marvell or Hardy are trying to imply in their love poems, but this isn’t the case for everyone. Science practicals missed out on, Sibelius not activated on music students’ computers, Python not downloaded for computer science students. It’s not viable for everyone. This in itself is a source of problems for students. We have teachers and the facilities in schools for this reason, so we all have equal access to the education. Home lives are different for everyone, so trying to complete all of this work is going to be a lot harder for some. Students are missing out on vital resources and yet we are expected to sit exams as normal or push them back a month? Pushing them back will not make up for the time we have missed but rather prolong the anxiety and stress of students trying to succeed in a system that has destined them for failure.
Summer seemed to be a saving grace for students and yet that’s being ripped away from us too. Subjects are organising assessments for a whole year of content when students haven’t even been able to consolidate with teachers things they don’t understand. But surely they’ve had all of summer to revise and gain a knowledge of the topics more? Not really. Teachers are telling students a week before to revise all the content, giving no indication that there would even be a test. “Relax over summer, but do all of your transition work, catch up on any online work you’ve missed, do your personal statement… Oh yeah, but get plenty of rest and chill. Surprise! test first week back!” It’s unrealistic for students. It’s not just one test for students either, some students have multiple. The piling on of stress is not good accompanied with the original stress of self-teaching and adjusting to the world and the way it is now functioning.
There is uncertainty surrounding A level and GCSE students whether we’re sitting exams or not or what content will even be included in them. The rise in stress levels is going to result in many more mental health problems, and I don’t think schools or the government are getting that.
I want to be a teacher when I’m older, I want to help kids reach their potential and find a love for their subject (English for me), and teach them that it’s not all about what the letter on the piece of paper says. It’s hard though when that’s what many of us base our worth on now. We’re so focused on having that perfect letter on the results paper, and getting in to the top universities, and that’s detrimental to our mental health. Perfectionism can become obsessive. Self worth is defined by the grades we have and sometimes schools project that onto us. Schools want to have the best grade possible and they often forget how human we are and how hard we actually work to try and get the grades that they want. How can I help students if I can’t get out of that mindset myself?
Schools put posters up advocating for mental health. Performative actions don’t always mean real change. They can tell us over and over that our mental health is cared for but if the pressure is being constantly loaded on us then it often makes us feel like they don’t really care. If schools sat students down and asked them how they could accommodate their current support to suit the needs of current students, then perhaps mental health problems would be recognised earlier and the students given valuable coping mechanisms before it spirals out of control. Instead of shaming students who are not getting deadlines, try to understand that not everyone is academically gifted. Some people are proud of their grade C, as they should be. It doesn’t need to be an A for someone to feel accomplished. Any grade a student is proud of is valid, and shouldn’t be mocked for not being the highest grade there is.
The pressure of school definitely gets to me sometimes. There are times where I’ll be staring at my textbook or flashcards and I can feel the tears in my eyes. I feel like a disappointment if I’m not picking it up as fast as the school wants to. As Lin Manuel-Miranda wrote in one of his songs, the quote “Hey guys, it’s me, the biggest disappointment you know,” definitely plays in my head in moments like that. I have to recompose myself and take a deep breath to remind myself that this is not the end of the world. My life is not dependent on my exams, no matter how much it feels like it is. I have friends who feel the same and the pressure just weighs down on them. It’s not fair.
Demotivation is not laziness.
Young people are finding themselves more demotivated than ever before, particularly with the lack of knowledge whether exams are going ahead or not. There is the dilemma whether to pour countless hours into studying for something that isn’t even going to happen, to be valued by your teachers, like the year above us. We end up procrastinating more (kinda like I keep doing with this post, but it’s okay) and then feel worse that we’re procrastinating.
Going back to school is definitely a strange experience and my day today had my head in all kinds of different places. I was excited to see my friends, nervous because of the new rules, and tired from waking up at 6:30A.M for the first time since March (I think that was one of the hardest bits). It was back to mundane routines and dress codes, no more lessons online in pyjamas and snacks whenever I want. I think it was a positive experience overall, since I finally got to spend time with my friends again in the common room and on our lunch adventure to Tesco to get a £3 meal deal. If it weren’t for my friends, I don’t know where I’d be now. My friends are one of my biggest sources of happiness, there is not a day where they don’t make me laugh (I’m gonna cut the mushy stuff short for now).
I was stopped twice today by two different adults to ask me about what school was like, pretty awkward, but it was strange to finally vocalise how we were feeling by the whole situation. It was a short, polite conversation when there’s so much that could’ve been said. I wasn’t about to tell a random stranger about the stress and anxiety over the prospects of my future, or how some teachers are giving my friends tests on such short notice that they’re crying from stress. I kept it short and polite and went about my day, leaving the issues of our wellbeing amongst us. If schools can’t help us, then I don’t think a passing stranger will be able to in the space of a minute.
Mental health is such an important issue that is finally starting to be talked about more, but schools aren’t doing as much as they can to help students, particularly in a time like this. Posters and assemblies won’t ease us of our stress. We need to feel like we’re cared about, not just told. More warning before tests and reassurance that we have the necessary skills. Teach us the structure of exams. Teach us how to manage stress. Talk to us.
I wasn’t really sure what to title this piece, and it’ll have probably changed a few times by the time I put this up, but I know how hectic this all is for everyone. Will schools see this? Probably not. Is it still important to talk about? Of course it is. We need to make our voices heard now more than ever and mental health is not something we can keep quiet about.